How to Make Any Character Likable
Recently, Keith (my husband) made me watch a show. I had opted not to watch it the first time around with him as it seemed much more up his alley than mine, but he insisted. So I gave it a try. And not only did I learn how to make any character likable…
I loved the show!
I’m talking about Ted Lasso.
If you haven’t heard of this show before, you may have by now, as it was just nominated for two Golden Globes, including a WIN from Jason Sudeikis for Best Actor (congrats!).
Other than being completely charming, I love this show because it gives me such fantastic insights into character. Even more specifically, how to make characters likable.
There are quite a few characters to follow in this series. It centers around a soccer team in England, giving us several perspectives from the owner, coaches, players, and other random figures.
But what has amazed me is how each episode has managed to make me more and more sympathetic with characters I had previously written off.
So how did they do it?
There are so many specifics I could dive into, but to keep it concise(ish), I have picked out just a few details I’ve noticed in four of the characters throughout the first few episodes.
Let’s talk about why I fell for these characters, and how you can apply the same techniques to your own characters.
Give Your Character Vulnerabilities - Rebecca
Rebecca is the owner of the soccer team, recently inheriting sole ownership as part of her divorce settlement.
But more importantly, Rebecca has one and only one goal for her team: make them fail.
What? How is this a likable quality?
Put simply, it isn’t. We’re rooting for the team and for Ted as the coach. We certainly don’t want them to fail. The mores wins, the better!
BUT, we see Rebecca’s pain. Her husband very publicly cheated on her. He made her look like a fool. He embarrassed her in front of the entire country. And so she has set out to destroy the only thing he really loves - his team. Her plan is to get even. To break his heart by breaking his team.
We don’t want Rebecca to succeed, but we do sympathize with her. As someone with vulnerabilities and pain, we as the viewers have our natural tendencies for empathy and compassion triggered.
I can’t tell you how much I love this!
Rebecca is definitely not my favorite character in the show, but I love how much I’m rooting for her, despite wanting her main desire to fail. She’s the antagonist. Her goal is in direct battle with Ted’s goal. And yet…she’s likable. She’s complex and interesting and layered. Just like humans.
So how can you apply this technique? Show your character’s pain.
As a caution, don’t go overboard. I mean, it’s your story, so to each his own. But I am personally NOT a fan of stories that rely heavily on tragic backstories.
Every character doesn’t need to have been beaten, imprisoned, abused, and left for dead. A simple, humanizing, relatable incident or glimpse of their inner pain is usually enough to do the trick. Tragic backstories should be used sparingly.
Instead, think about who your character is. Think about their Ghost/Wound. And challenge yourself to come up with unique ways to give them stories that aggravate that Ghost in interesting ways.
Rather than saying their father left them as a child, therefore they’re in pain, tell about a recent event that aggravated that pain. You don’t even have to touch on the original wound!
This doesn’t always have to be the case, but it’s a great way to mix things up.
I am certain that Rebecca is so vengeful because the way her husband humiliated her and cheated on her exacerbated an already existing wound. We know this is the case because someone else in the exact same situation might act differently.
They might simply forgive and move on, claiming excitement at the freedom rather than hurt and anger. They might have emotions that overpower their hurt at the betrayal.
But who is YOUR character? How do they react to specific events? And how does it reveal their hidden pain?
Make Your Character Care About Someone - Roy
Roy is an aging soccer player who is, to put it lightly, a bit rough around the edges. He’s cranky! But the show did something incredibly smart a couple of episodes in.
What did they do? They gave Roy someone to care about. Even better, a child to care about.
I couldn’t help falling for Roy when we watched his edges soften a bit at an elementary school. There, he interacted with the children, citing he only did it for his niece. The show even included a scene with him reading to her (adorable). AND, they gave him a moment where he defended a member of the team being bullied.
Notably, he does all of this without straying from who he is. Roy is still gruff and unapproachable. But watching him open his heart a bit to care for his niece and protect an underdog gives us all the feels.
So how can you apply this technique? Give your character someone they care about.
I talked about this a bit in my Little Women post. Part of the reason I love this movie so much is because throughout the entire thing, we see the sisters’ love for each other. And who doesn’t love love?
Any character instantly becomes more likable once they have someone they care about in a genuine and relatable way.
And bonus points if they stand up for people who need a bit of help. (This is actually a central point in the Save the Cat! philosophy, and what the book is named after. If you haven’t read it yet, I recommend it!)
Give Your Character Likable Strengths - Ted
Okay. Teddy boy. This is one of the most likable characters I’ve ever had the privilege of watching. He’s funny, genuine, kind, compassionate, brave, and smart.
But I’m going to touch on something else here. Something I don’t see very often in stories, but when I do, I eat it up like Ben and Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk Ice Cream (which I can’t help but down in one sitting).
Ted doesn’t take things personally.
As a cheesy and inexperienced American, Ted is strongly disliked when he arrives at his new job. Everywhere he goes he is harassed and called names. But he always responds with a smile! How likable is that?
I cringe when someone is mistreated. Partly because it’s just upsetting to watch, but partly because I empathize strongly and I don’t want to feel their feelings. So it’s a breath of fresh air when I brace myself for the fallout as someone is called a name, and they simply respond with a smile.
Ted lets things roll off his back. He is confident with who he is and what he is doing. It’s awesome! Now when I watch the show, rather than cringing every time he is called a name, I smile. Because I know he’s got something kind to say in return. And that makes for an insanely likable character.
How can you apply this technique? Think outside the box when it comes to the way your characters react to situations.
Part of the reason this trait is so likable is because it’s unexpected. We as the audience expect Ted to react one way, and he swerves and does the opposite. This is a fantastic technique to utilize for your own story.
Make Your Character Reasonable - Keeley
Model Keeley is the star player’s girlfriend.
I fell for this character in the first episode. She’s crass and tough and resilient and fun. But the moment I knew she was something special came when she also showed her ability to be reasonable and mature.
Again, as the viewer, this was an instance where I expected one thing and was given the opposite.
Let me explain.
In the locker room, Keeley’s boyfriend has hung a picture of Keeley topless (except for a bit of whipped cream in strategic places). When Ted arrives, one of his first moves is to make this picture more modest with the use of black tape.
Later, Keeley arrives in the locker room after all the players have left. She notices Ted’s modesty tape. And what does she do? She smiles! She recognizes it for what it was: an attempt to show her respect. It wasn’t a slam on her or what she was doing. And as such, she didn’t take it personally.
Keeley definitely has her insecurities, but in many respects, she’s comfortable with who she is, which is a very likable quality.
How can you apply this technique? Make your characters mature.
Not all the time. Not in every situation. But once in a while, it’s fun and refreshing to watch a character respond to a situation with surprising maturity.
So there you go! Four instances in Ted Lasso that demonstrate unique and effective ways to make a character instantly likable. Did any resonate with you? Let me know in the comments!
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