How to Make Your Reader Cry (Writing Emotion: Heartbreak)
The Writing Emotion series observes one emotion at a time in a story that does it well. This is so that we can understand better how to do our most important job as storytellers (no matter the genre): make readers feel. Or, in this case, make readers cry.
The objective of these posts is less about learning to convey a specific emotion (joy, sorrow, anxiousness, etc.) and more about studying what is going on underneath a scene that makes the emotionality of it more compelling for the characters and the reader alike—
It’s about learning to write emotion.
Emotion: Heartbreak
Story: Stranger Things Season 4
Spoilers Ahead
(In terms of plot for the season, the spoilers here are minor. This scene appears in Episode 3 of Season 4.)
Heartbreak: overwhelming distress.
Scene from the story:
Lesson 1: Make your reader cry by operating from their greatest insecurity
The most poignant scenes in a story play directly into the character’s Lie. In this case, Eleven is operating from the Lie: I am the monster.
This particular lie has been an insecurity of hers since season 1. I chose to focus on heartbreak for this scene (even though it’s only one of many emotions in this scene) because Eleven has convinced herself that the person she trusts and loves most in the world also believes this lie about her.
This internal belief is causing her, as the definition states above, overwhelming distress.
Having someone the protagonist trusts reflect back to them their most sensitive misbeliefs/insecurities about who they are is a spectacular formula for deep, raw emotion.
Not only that, it’s an excellent launch pad into more obstacles and opportunities for transformation. In fact, as a result of this scene, we see both Mike and Will undergo a great amount of growth over the rest of the season.
Lesson 2: Make your reader cry by escalating the emotion with setup & payoff
There are two moments in this scene where Eleven’s heart breaks just a little more—where the emotion escalates and the writer does a good job of making the viewer cry.
This occurs when Mike unintentionally touches on more of her insecurities. We already know from early on in the scene that she has an insecurity of not belonging/being a monster. But earlier in the story (season) the writers have also set up other insecurities playing into that belief.
That Mike no longer loves her
That she is worthless/helpless without her superpowers
This scene is an excellent example of setup and payoff in terms of these insecurities:
Eleven has noticed Mike’s absence of the word “love” in their relationship. This minor conflict is subtle, but has been established with their exchanging of letters. We hear Eleven’s use of the word “love” in the opening scenes of the season as she writes a letter to Mike. Later, we deduce that she is disappointed when Mike writes “From” in the flowers he gives to her, rather than “Love.”
That setup pays off in this scene (when Eleven is already in a considerable amount of distress) when Mike says the line, “I care for you so much.” Her emotion and insecurity escalates noticeably at this statement, and the scene conflict escalates as a result.Eleven has been feeling helpless without her superpowers. Without them, she has no way (that she knows) to fight against her bullies. This has been set up in multiple scenes, but here it comes to a head, ending the scene with even more escalated emotions. This occurs when Mike cites his feelings for Eleven grounded in the fact that she is a “superhero.”
Again, noticeably, her emotion escalates as she replies, “Not anymore.”
Lesson 3: Make your reader invest emotionally by layering the scene with a mystery
Eleven’s emotion escalates when Mike does not tell her he loves her.
But why doesn’t he?
The writers do a great job of using subtext to pique our curiosity. Is Mike insecure? Have his feelings shifted somehow? What’s going on that is making him reluctant or unable to give Eleven what she needs in this moment?
This not only intensifies the emotion in this scene (we see Mike’s confusion, desperation, frustration, etc.), it also makes us eager to keep watching so that we can see this conflict resolve and understand what’s going on with Mike emotionally—aka, solve this mystery.
